Wednesday, June 28, 2006

You think you know somebody

Before I get started I should warn you reader that you probably won’t get a thing about this post because I won’t be specific. This post should be about Nickelback songs, remember? Well, this is an extra post so no Nickelback for now.

The thing is I’m not okay today. I was watching the last episode of Everwood, the series finale (I hadn’t had time to watch it yet), and it was cute and sad... as always.
But the reason why I’m not okay is not Everwood. I do love TV Shows, but I think Gilmore Girls is the only one that’s gonna get me really sad when it ends because it made my life better. It may sound stupid but I’m serious, it affects me, big time.

Anyway, Everwood gets me emotional every time I watch it. So the reason why I suddenly felt bad is that there was this whole amount of things bothering me but I just didn’t wanna admit that there was something bothering me. And I can do it, I can pretend everything’s okay all the time, and I can even convince myself that it is. And even though I know I’m just pretending I also “know” it’s all good. I’m just weird.

I’ve realized something that I didn’t want to realize even though I had realized it already. Does it make any sense? It’s about some choices I’ve made and the things I feel for someone. These two things aren’t connected, I didn’t make any choice regarding that someone. In fact, I did nothing about it. Maybe that’s the problem, I don’t know.

I don’t really talk much about myself and the things I feel. But today I just felt this need to let people know that the girl who’s always happy and smiling isn’t really me. I do have bad days. Many bad days, as everyone, but people are used to seeing me happy because that’s what I show them. It’s not anyone’s fault, I never let people see through me. Well, okay, I have done that a few times and it felt great but I don’t feel safe knowing that someone knows me. You must be thinking, “Wow, this girl has some problem”, and yeah, whatever, I do.

And I have to post it right now because if I read it again I know I’ll change my mind and delete it all so... do first, think later.
This was a stupid post but I just had to write it.

The title? That’s from Veronica Mars. I love VM with all my strength, I really do. You haven’t watched it yet? Poor you...

1 comment:

Laura Medeiros said...

Every one is like that sis. Every one fells sad sometimes and it´s worse when you must seem happy all the time. The wizzard Avril song´s says it: Life is like this and you fall and you craw and you break and you take what you get" and do you know what we do with this? we become better person. That´s how I believe.