Wednesday, June 28, 2006

You think you know somebody

Before I get started I should warn you reader that you probably won’t get a thing about this post because I won’t be specific. This post should be about Nickelback songs, remember? Well, this is an extra post so no Nickelback for now.

The thing is I’m not okay today. I was watching the last episode of Everwood, the series finale (I hadn’t had time to watch it yet), and it was cute and sad... as always.
But the reason why I’m not okay is not Everwood. I do love TV Shows, but I think Gilmore Girls is the only one that’s gonna get me really sad when it ends because it made my life better. It may sound stupid but I’m serious, it affects me, big time.

Anyway, Everwood gets me emotional every time I watch it. So the reason why I suddenly felt bad is that there was this whole amount of things bothering me but I just didn’t wanna admit that there was something bothering me. And I can do it, I can pretend everything’s okay all the time, and I can even convince myself that it is. And even though I know I’m just pretending I also “know” it’s all good. I’m just weird.

I’ve realized something that I didn’t want to realize even though I had realized it already. Does it make any sense? It’s about some choices I’ve made and the things I feel for someone. These two things aren’t connected, I didn’t make any choice regarding that someone. In fact, I did nothing about it. Maybe that’s the problem, I don’t know.

I don’t really talk much about myself and the things I feel. But today I just felt this need to let people know that the girl who’s always happy and smiling isn’t really me. I do have bad days. Many bad days, as everyone, but people are used to seeing me happy because that’s what I show them. It’s not anyone’s fault, I never let people see through me. Well, okay, I have done that a few times and it felt great but I don’t feel safe knowing that someone knows me. You must be thinking, “Wow, this girl has some problem”, and yeah, whatever, I do.

And I have to post it right now because if I read it again I know I’ll change my mind and delete it all so... do first, think later.
This was a stupid post but I just had to write it.


.....................
The title? That’s from Veronica Mars. I love VM with all my strength, I really do. You haven’t watched it yet? Poor you...

Saturday, June 17, 2006

Pilot

Maybe it's the fact that from this day on, for the next 365 days, I'll be caring the weight of 17 years on my shoulders (weird way of saying it's my birthday ¬¬) but the thing is, I've started thinking about being old. Absurd, I know. Anyway, I realized that there are tons of things (stupid things, of course, since I'm about to post them here) that I wanna do before it's too late. Most of them are really stupid, not just stupid, but I mean them all. Specially the last one. So... here we go.

>>> Things I wanna do before I die (¬¬)

- Go to Canada to meet Chantal Kreviazuk and tell her she's my hero (top of the list)
- Watch the film The way we were
- Leave my footstep on a recently-made sidewalk (I've had one opportunity to do this but I somehow felt bad about the idea of destroying someone's work. Damn conscience.)
- Listen to How you remind me and Someday, both by Nickelback, at the same time (I swear I'll explain next post)
- Buy every season of Gilmore Girls on DVD (I got the first one todaay \o/)
- Buy a green car
- Buy a big red coat
- Earn money to buy those DVD boxes, the green car and the red coat ¬¬
- Meet Agatha Christie (I know, she died in 1976 so it's impossible to meet her. So if this is on my list it means that I can't die. Or... that I have to)
- Have an I love Gilmore Girls T-shirt
- Dive using diving equipment
- Buy a Golden-retriever because those dogs are sooo beautiful
- Meet a male dolphin, become his best friend and in tears, on a very dramatic ocasion tell him that he is and always will be my best friend. I won't really mean it but it's ok, he'll never know. It's a dauphin. (Ow, come on, I'm not even asking for a whale named Willy! Why is it that I never get to have these amazing friendships with animals?)


As you can see I have many important goals in life.
No 'have a kid, plant a tree, write a book', huh? Well, I love kids, and I have planted a tree already. It died but who cares? About the book... Does it have to be actually good or can it just, you know, be a book?


....................
Ok, about the title.
I really wanted some episode title involving lists, or some interesting title about birthdays, not just something like Character's Birthday but obviously I didn't find it.
So I chose that one because every Tv show has a pilot, and this is the beginning of a new year for me, so... not very creative but it works for me.